The Starer, Part 2

If not imitating what the passersby say, the starer would call out “cewek, cewek … ” (meaning: hi girl!), or whistle, unfortunately off-key-ly. So, today when I walk down the hill from the apartment we’re staying to the bus stop, I heard a guy in front of a school shouting something, and I thought ‘pfft, it’s happening here too … ‘, but I was wrong. The guy actually was chatting with his friend who was in a truck. Some Singaporeans in a normal situation sitting next to each other usually chat very “passionately” where people who were three blocks away could hear, so you can imagine how powerful the voice that the guy in the school should produce to have a proper chat with his buddy sitting inside a truck. But, what a relief that they were just minding their own business.

You wonder why many Indonesians like to stare and gawp toward strangers. I think the problem is deeper than having nothing to do. For one thing, it’s a sign that there are lots of unemployment in Indonesia. If these people were busy working, like in Singapore, these guys would not have had time to stare and gawp.

Another thing is that I see many Indonesian parents are too lazy to educate their children that staring is not polite. And in some cases if not many, it’s not because that they are lazy, but because they don’t know or aren’t aware that staring is impolite and makes the people who are the object feel very uncomfortable and feel like doing something silly such as walking like a balerina.

Let me share you one of our experiences. We were going to have lunch at a food court in Ambo Mall. As soon as we sat in our table, one little girl went near us (very near like 43 cm from us if you want to be a bit precise), and stood there and stared at us – well, at my husband actually, because he is gorgeous and kind hearted, and a westerner. And she stood and stared for quite a while, about 2 minutes and 17 second, I think. Initially, my husband looked at her and smiled and said hi. She shyly smiled, then went to her father who was sitting in a table next to us. Then she went back near our table again, and stared at us, this time accompanied by two of her sisters who were all wearing the same kind of clothes. And we started not to feel comfortable, and I could see that their father was actually aware of what his children were doing, but did not do anything to stop them from standing and staring at an inocent and goodlooking couple. Instead he just said, “oh bule”, when one of his children pointed at us, as if he justified them doing so.

So, it becomes like a cycle. The children are not aware that staring is impolite, and because of that, they also wouldn’t teach their own children that staring is not polite. On and on and on … and more or less staring becomes a culture …

The next question is who are the people who like to stare?